Intro
What do you usually eat for breakfast? Cereal? A Chewy bar? Half a grapefruit filled with cottage cheese? What? What???? Tell me, for god’s sake!
For me, it’s some sort of toast with PB and jam and two cups of coffee. This is what I have for breakfast whenever I’m able to roll out of bed at a reasonable hour and take my damn time in the mornings. This includes weekday mornings because I get up early, as I am a breakfast fiend and must give this holy meal the time and respect it deserves. Sometimes I have a bagel. BUT OTHER THAN THAT, it’s toast, baby.
What do you usually eat for breakfast? Cereal? A Chewy bar? Half a grapefruit filled with cottage cheese? What? What???? Tell me, for god’s sake!
For me, it’s some sort of toast with PB and jam and two cups of coffee. This is what I have for breakfast whenever I’m able to roll out of bed at a reasonable hour and take my damn time in the mornings. This includes weekday mornings because I get up early, as I am a breakfast fiend and must give this holy meal the time and respect it deserves. Sometimes I have a bagel. BUT OTHER THAN THAT, it’s toast, baby.
Thesis Statement
Toast is the perfect breakfast food! First of all, it’s so easy to make that I nearly fall asleep making it every now and then. Pop some bread into a toaster, slather your choice of chunky peanut butters and raspberry jams onto it and boom, you’ve got Heaven on a Plate. Beyond that, toast is crunchy, the oft-forgotten sixth sense that many, many people (Haley Joel Osmont excluded) forget about. The crunch has to be enough to practically jolt you out of your morning-induced daze while the coffee’s brewing but not so much that you feel like a childhood bully has stuffed your mouth with wood chips.
Second, that crunchy munch is always nicely contrasted with the creaminess of the peanut butter and the cool glissé of the jam. It’s a medley of mouthfeels and mouthFUN that is sure to start your morning off right. Wash it down with that piping hot coffee for best and most desired results.
Thirdly of all, it’s simply delicious. The x-factor of any food is the so-called “delicious-taste” and if you cover your slice in anything similar to me, you’ve got a one way ticket to Guy Fieri’s Flavortown™ before 8am. Yes sir, any variation of chunky peanut butter and raspberry jam and you’ll be hootin’ and hollerin’ loud enough to wake the neighbors.
Toast is the perfect breakfast food! First of all, it’s so easy to make that I nearly fall asleep making it every now and then. Pop some bread into a toaster, slather your choice of chunky peanut butters and raspberry jams onto it and boom, you’ve got Heaven on a Plate. Beyond that, toast is crunchy, the oft-forgotten sixth sense that many, many people (Haley Joel Osmont excluded) forget about. The crunch has to be enough to practically jolt you out of your morning-induced daze while the coffee’s brewing but not so much that you feel like a childhood bully has stuffed your mouth with wood chips.
Second, that crunchy munch is always nicely contrasted with the creaminess of the peanut butter and the cool glissé of the jam. It’s a medley of mouthfeels and mouthFUN that is sure to start your morning off right. Wash it down with that piping hot coffee for best and most desired results.
Thirdly of all, it’s simply delicious. The x-factor of any food is the so-called “delicious-taste” and if you cover your slice in anything similar to me, you’ve got a one way ticket to Guy Fieri’s Flavortown™ before 8am. Yes sir, any variation of chunky peanut butter and raspberry jam and you’ll be hootin’ and hollerin’ loud enough to wake the neighbors.
F.A.Q. Section
Will I accept creamy peanut butter? NO.
Will I accept white bread? WHEAT ONLY, FOOL.
Will I accept honey instead of jam? OF course, variety is the spice of life, my man, you gotta get some PB & honey going every now and then.
Parting Thought
My friends, if someone asked me today, “Kristian, what’s your secret?” I’d say two things: transfusing the blood of youths and toast in the morning. It really is that easy.
Will I accept creamy peanut butter? NO.
Will I accept white bread? WHEAT ONLY, FOOL.
Will I accept honey instead of jam? OF course, variety is the spice of life, my man, you gotta get some PB & honey going every now and then.
Parting Thought
My friends, if someone asked me today, “Kristian, what’s your secret?” I’d say two things: transfusing the blood of youths and toast in the morning. It really is that easy.
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