It has recently and obviously come to my attention that I no longer have a beard. Such a drastic change in my visage should have been accompanied by just as drastic press release from my publicist but I know now that that release did not come. Rest assured, my fans, that this decision was not made lightly and was definitely not made after a beard-trimming event went terribly awry. No, this was the culmination of what some are calling the ‘Beard Era’ and its destruction was both right and warranted. Please be advised that this release includes several Pictures of a Sensitive Nature that are not meant for imitation, forgery or, least of all, mockery. Thank you. B E H O L D the much anticipated hi-res look at “Beard Kristian” As you can see above, the Beard adds a gravitas and a seriousness to my face that not even eyeblack can replicate. This is a primary reason that the Beard was grown, to make my enemies quiver under my stoicism and to make my ego feel like a Big Serious Man. Most...